Yesterday, it hit me that I might have developed a phobia for men. No. Actually Diyana hit me with that. We were analyzing my situation and she told me that. I stopped for awhile to think that yah, maybe it's true. Only I didn't realize it till now. Scary how it may seem that even the slightest thing could terrify me. Maybe I'm just too paranoid.

I hate ppl who tries to be funny with me. I'll avoid him like crazy cos I don't like this kind of behaviour. 'Dear?' Who the hell and what the hell. I rather make friends with that stalker than get close to him. You don't know me, and you are 'Dear-ing' me already? You're a 31-year-old man for heaven's sake. I'm 20. You really should know your limits. We are colleagues as far as it goes. Oh but you know what... we can even be strangers, I don't mind. I couldn't care less what you think of me, now that I'm avoiding you and keeping a far distance from you. You're disgusting.

Yah, I'm sure you got the hint. I'm sorry but I can't help it cos it just triggers me back to that unfortunate day that happened 10 years ago... it's still sitting comfortably in the dark nook of my memory. What happened that day, only a few knew of it. And I don't wish to relive that day. Ever since that day, even when men stand very close to me, I get the shivers inside and it's like I'm back in that haunting lift. No. I don't wanna go back there. Please.

No one can really understand. They don't know what I went through. Yes, maybe I'm over reacting to one stupid sms but he started sms-ing me a couple of times more and I feel irritated, annoyed, disgusted, scared. I'm being mentally harassed. It all happened within 2 days but I settled it, I hope. I have to thank some of my friends for being there for me, although I know it's bothering. As much as they were there for me, none really was able to understand. But it's ok. I dunno how to explain it either. I have to deal with this everyday but I'm gonna just ignore him and do what I came here to do. Work. Full-stop. Kapeesh. Period.

This was what happened.

Him: Hi, what are you doing now my dear? What time are you going home?
Me: (What the...) Having break. Going home at 7. U?
Him: Oh me having break at Bedok blah blah blah. I'm going home at 7 too!
Me: *Panic*

The next day, in the same bus...
Him: Hai Ira, is somethin bothering you?
Me: (Yes. You. And Ira?! Ira?!) Huh. No, not really. Y?
Him: Nothing! Maybe I'm over react. -> some bad English there.
Me: (Yah, like I care. No, you're not 'over-react'. I AM avoiding you.) *Didn't reply*

Later, that night...
Me: I'm changing my number as of tmr so don't contact me thru this number. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Him: Ok! Sorry for bothering you. Have a good night sleep. Bye.
Me: Glad you know you're bothering me. Bye and so long. And don't come near me. -> Nah, of coz I didn't reply him that lah.

I was reading in the bus today, there was an empty seat beside me, and then suddenly... bump! 'Hi!' he said. I turned and oh my gdness, it's the stalker! But oh well... better him than tt guy. So I said hi back and I couldn't read any further.



. .