My life? It's at a pause right now. Just like ________. Yah like that. So many things in my mind... (and in my heart). Bleh.

This year's Ramadhan feels different. It just don't feel right. Maybe cos I'm working so I'm more focused on my work and it's taking up most of my time. I feel so wrong and guilty. But nevertheless, I'm gonna make the most of it... kalau tak, rugi.

Work? Study? The bottomline is - I have to have lotsa $$ to study. So I have to settle for work. But then the next que is - To stay? Or not to stay? Argh.

That aside... now about my other issue. My weakness, that great ardor... the heart. Ah another pile of crap which I can't seem to get rid of. I'm not thinkin abt it as much but recently I realised that I tend to scan thru my workin area, hoping to spot him somewhere. That desire to see him every so often is getting from bad to worse. I feel like I'm not thinkin about him when actually I am and my actions can witness to that, altho' I swear sometimes I don't realise it.

Damn it's getting harder and harder for me. But then again, being the skeptic that I am, I know that this is ridiculous. It's that same ol' thin. It's history repeating itself. I know I've been thru this before...

No wonder it feels like deja vu...




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