Hello again. Decided to take a break from all the madness going around. "And when the madness stops, you will be alone..." and yes, this is after all what I've always wanted. To be alone; in my own world. You wouldn't wanna know what goes on in my La-La Land. It's a sweet surrender.

After much thought, I realised that after all this and all that, after this guy and that guy, I prefer to be this way as it is. BEFORE all of that crap. I'm happy this way, to stay the way I am. I don't need those extras. Well, that's what I say now lah but if in future you guys see me walking down the street with some guy (and I happen to be holding hands with him)... erm I might have to swallow those words if after many attempts of dodging and I still come face to face with you. -_- Ooh... scary thought there.

I believe the above scenario won't happen in the near future, so I'm safe till then. The only person who can truly understand me regarding this dumb issue is Ydah.

The complicated thin abt this is that we tend to ignore these things. I mean, take the 4 of us for eg. Me and my 3 other single friends (but we lead separate lives), we hv been single for most of our lives and we nvr thought that ANYBODY would even look at us, much less like us! It nvr really crossed our minds. We've always thought of ourselves as the ugly ducklings that will nvr grow into a beautiful swan. Just plain ducks.

And suddenly as time passed by, after coon's age of puberty that seemed forever, and sort-of "bloomed" (I guess)... things start to happen mysteriously. It's freaky really. We tend to overlook certain things. Probably becos we hv issues. Each one of us has our own issues... trust issues, commitment issues, emotional issues... I dunno, whatever really. I don't care anymore. Not now.

I know I'm difficult. I'm not easy to impress. And if I don't like you, it simple means that. You can't force these things. I'm flattered, I appreciate it but I can't fake it. And it's frustrating. This makes me wanna stay away from ppl sometimes, cos I don't wanna look for trouble.

I just hate to have to think about all these things. I don't need it now. I don't think it's that easy cos it will always be difficult for me.

I just want my tv.



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