"The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder." - Virginia Woolf

I sat in the dark alone and let my mind wander for a while. The profusion of this liquid that expresses more than just hurt and anguish. Sadness is what it is. When I thought I've run out of it, it deluged me some more.

I am exhausted. And yet everytime I think about it, I would break down. Only HE knows how I truly feel inside. No words can explain it. At times like these, I will talk to Him in the middle of the night, in the dark. Or I will talk to Dude. Because it listens. Like as if it is someone real. Who will never ever hurt me like that. Who will always be the one I turn to. Because of its silence. It won't mind if I accidentally soak him wet or hug him tightly. It won't mind it at all.

Then HE will tell me it's gonna be alright and put me to sleep. I think I've let it all out a little too much that it wears me out. Inferiority is catching up with me once again. I'm tired of trying. I thought I've grown immune to it but alas... I'm still only human. A weak one at that too.

I shall put it behind me. There are many other things to be happy about. And it is happiness that I seek. I hope one day I'll find it.

I give and I give and I give and then I receive blows and then I give some more. But it's ok, I'm gonna be alright.



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