Having someone to love and be loved in return is such a nice feeling. A feeling that is clear, honest and genuine. I see it in my friends eyes and smiles whenever they talk about their companion. I would be lying if I say I dun yearn for that kind of thing but I'll just make do with what it is now.

Pardon the sentimental shit, I know coming from me, it's really unbearable. I remember how when we were younger, we used to set criterias for the man we want. Like oh he must be taller than me, or he must be fit, or he must not be the jealous type, or he must not have stupid hairdos, or he must not wear those stoopid tapered jeans... etc etc etc.

Now, I just don't give a damn. I look back and thought, what the hell ever happened to that list of criterias huh? As the years went by, we met or rather I met, funny funny people of all sorts of races, sizes and religions and none of them seemed deem fit to match my tough criterias. None of them came close to being the so-called "man of my dreams".

And how I had a thing for each of them is unexplainable. Quite a few I abruptly put an end to. Actually ALL of it lah. And walked away due to some reasons. I went as far as infatuated but that was it. Jalen likes to use the word Firewall on me. And sadly it's true to a certain extent.

I'm someone who's full of shit. EVERYBODY knows that. And I eat like a hungry Phumba. The nice girl you see eating like a Princess is not me ah. That's just for those who don't know me that well. I talk to the monitor while humming to Mission Impossible's theme song. So who in the right mind would wanna take that chance with me right?

Ya know, I was just telling Ydah that day. We, women are very very funny and confused people. We say we want men to like us for who we are, but when they DO like us for who we are, we tell them: "What the hell do they see in us?!" We just freaked out lah. We tell them, "Are you blind or are you out of your mind?"

Yes, I am one of those people. I mean, I wouldn't like me. So I dunno how anybody else would. Well anyway, to find love is really a hassle unless he happens to be at my front door sent from above when I go home later.

But otherwise, it really is a hassle.



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