I'm still in a state of shock actually. Guilty pun ade... worried pun ade... takut pun ade... Guilty and takut of my mom actually. Ma, I wanted so much to talk to you (you know, heart to heart talk) but you're working and I can't wait till Saturday cos I think by then, I would've gone bonkers. So I've decided to blog about it here since you read it anyway.

I think by the time you finish reading this post, when I come back from work, you're gonna stand-by by the door with a parang or a chopper. I'm mentally prepared.

So I was hesitant at first but I was getting very paranoid about my skin so I decided to do something about it and went ahead with it anyway. I've set aside 200 bucks but who knows the digits he put across for me cos a bloody bomb, I almost fell off the chair. Plus, he was so dramatic, I wanted to cry. It was a shock so bad, I was stupefied. I just sat still.

I was thinking if it was a big mistake but he did a reverse psychology on me you see. But I was determined and I wanted so much to have flawless skin so I went with it. Wanna know how much the medicines below cost me? $650. PER MONTH, mind you. PER MONTH ok. I have to pay 650 buckeroos for 6 months.

And I was thinking, "Mom is gonna kill me." But as much as I didn't wanna tell you Mother, I had to. I couldn't keep it from you. I know if I had told you face-to-face, you would have fainted already. Yes I know... my studies, my expenses, your allowances... etc etc etc. No matter how scared shit to death I am, I had to tell you Mother. Please don't kill me.

Why was I willing to pay 650 bucks? Because I'm sick and tired of waiting for miracles to happen. Should have taken it seriously when Hidayah said that beauty comes with a heavy price.

The bad: I would have to spend $3900 for 6 months and have a bloody strict diet. I know I'm gonna die of this. How to survive??? I love food! He said only lots of water, fresh fruits and soya beans! Then, skin will peel. And finally, mom is gonna kill me.

The good: It'll only last for 6 months, afterwhich I don't have to fork out that much cash anymore. I don't have to depend on them anymore! Yay! And more soyas mean bigger *ahems*! And since I'm only consuming soyas for 6 months, that means I can save $$$. So ok lah kan.

Don't worry Mother. I will still contribute what's necessary. Don't you worry about me and my financials ok. I'm sure I can survive. Insya-allah. I love you Mother!



. .