Yesterday I went home feeling extremely exhausted but happy. I feel so good about myself and more confident than I've ever been before. Throughout my 13 years span of schoolhood, I've never been the outspoken one or the one who will speak her mind in class. I can have ideas and thoughts and questions in my head but I won't say it out. Like gundu like that you know? I worry more about making a fool out of myself should I say something stupid.

That's the difference with us, Asians and Caucasians. They really have opinions man! But most of the time, if you realise, it's all rubbish. But what is admirable is their confidence level in that they don't care what others think and will say what they deem fit. It can just be a load of crap but they can make it sound good anyways. However, half of the time, it makes no sense at all. Cheh.

How I wish we could be more assertive like them.

Anyway, the tutorial yesterday was so good that I didn't wanna leave. Of course, with a controversial topic I could very well relate to (Gender Identity Disorder. Read: Transsexuals) make it all the more fun and interesting.

I just don't like how some of them tend to sidetrack from the discussion tho'. It's a bloody waste of time.

I gave my points and thoughts, shared some experiences (something I never did before) and I felt good that they, my classmates & super fun 7 months pregnant tutor, nodded and discussed them. Why do I feel good? Because my questions were answered. All those doubts I'm sure the rest benefit from it too.

I'll always keep this qoute from a certain ex-colleague of mine in mind wherever I go. "There are no stupid questions. Those who never ask questions are the stupid ones." And he's the only one here in The Company who took my interest seriously and believe that I could achieve what I want to achieve. Maybe when I'm attached in UK, I'll look him up or something ey.

If you never speak up, you never learn. If you never ask, you never learn. If you never share, you never learn. It was great that EVERYONE shared and it was more like a chit-chatting session among 12 exquisite ladies (incl. me) instead of a rigid morgue-like class.

Yah try putting 12 CRAZY mak-nenek girls (incl. the pregnant one) together and what do you get? Why, a market of course. It was like Oprah plus Ellen DeGeneres plus Tyra show in there! Even I was surprised I talked that much. I was even more surprised that Dr. Inderbir knew my name even when I haven't introduced myself.

Well, good teachers are hard to come by and I am truly grateful that she's my tutor. She even gossips! How cool is that? Don't get me wrong, all our gossips are fun and cheeky. Sometimes, we discuss these gossips and wonder if they're all having disorders. Hahaha.

(Oh and remember the psychotic abnormal lady in my class? We discussed her yesterday too. Just the other day, SHE SANG DURING LECTURE. She also scolded Dr. Inderbir for teaching Schizophrenia and for no reason whatsoever, Dr. Inderbir's outfit. ??? Even lecturers were not spared lah...

*Btw, they're gonna raise an issue on her cos she's disrupting other students.*)

I guess, bottomline is, to do something you enjoy doing and then you'll feel the satisfaction that comes out of it. It's lighter when you enjoy doing it because it's more of a learning experience in which you're interested even tho' it's a task.

I think I might have finally found my comfort zone, my so-called line of interest.



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