I miss him. He will be turning 2 this month. It has been 2 years already and he's grown that much. Being the only baby in a family of 37 people, we have watched him grow day by day. Well, maybe not exactly everyday but often enough to see his development.

I still miss those days when he was only a few months old. I miss being the mum, putting him to sleep all. Now, he'll probably whack me if he has the chance. I miss how he used to have his green pacifier on, with eyes open wide, always in awe. Now, the pacifier is gone. He's into big bottles now. *laughs*
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I started studying but I think I forgot how to do that. I'm sure I'll remember how to when the paper is the next day. But I think mugging hard is not the way to do it with what I'm doing. I just have to do a lot of reading and a lot more of understanding. Reading is what I'm lacking of. I can feel the pressure already. My oh my...

Plus, the weather hasn't been very nice to me. I dunno if it's due to the weather, or the durians, or some stupid viral infection but it's making me cough so bad that I feel like I'm coughing out my insides sometimes. Most times, I cough until I'm out of breath! Basket...

I pray hard that the whooping cough will not come back. But I think it is. It's gonna last me for at least a 100 days or 3 months! I went through it once and I hate to have to go through it again. Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY ME?!

Go away, cough. Shoo!

P/s: Amazing how fantasies take you away from your fears that is in reality. In my case... the fear of falling in love and losing in touch with myself. Fear of someone controlling me, fear of not being able to let go, fear of losing my freedom, fear of getting bored with my other half because I have that tendency. And so, I shall indulge more in fantasies. It's a sweet escape... for me, at least.



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