In life, there are many tests, obstacles and challenges we Humans have to go through. Even more so in this special month. In this month, we are reminded constantly to not lose our temper, have a lot of patience, do no evil, hear no evil, see no evil and do our biddings as Muslims. Ramadhan is a month to remind all Muslims of their faiths during trying times.

And trying times it is this very month.

Out of all the months, year after year, I face a lot of difficulties. Perhaps because I'm far from being a devout person. But still I try. As much as I try to go through it with perseverance, it is often led to disappointments and even anger. Even when I try to do good, with only good intentions, the response I get is really quite unexpected.

So how do you go about the teachings when people around you claim to preach but never practice them? I know their intentions are good but the way the messages are being conveyed gives us mixed reactions.

Should I ever try to remind them, I know it won't be well received and may even be considered as kurang ajar (rude). In our teachings, to answer back to our parents is a dosa (sin). Don't think I've not tried.

Sometimes, it drives me mad and I'd retreat to my own comfort zone and weep. I would weep out of anger, take deep breaths and silently pray to HIM, hoping HE'll change his behaviour and give me the strength to put up with all this. I have to remind myself that these are all tests and if I bersabar (be patient), I know HE knows. And that's all that matters.

I try as I can, especially in this month because the barakah (blessings) is countless. But I always ask myself, how does one contradicts oneself?

I dunno about the rest but he is always in my prayers. He is not a bad person, he is a good man. But he is not always right. "There is no righteous man who have not sinned".

As children, we know what we can and cannot do because they are after all our parents, and they've sacrificed a lot for us. I am sorry for venting my anger here because few mintues ago, I could not take it. I'm sure he's they're going through alot too.

For one can only do so much. It is not easy to always put upfront a smiling face.

I wonder as I grow older, what will I take along with me... more happiness or more sadness?



. .