Maybe nobody reads my blog anyways so it's just for me to channel my thoughts and release a lil bit of that stress inside of me.

Maybe it's the after-effects of my first paper which I did yesterday. It left me feeling damn blardy lousy because all that I've written is crap (no, really) and I'm not even sure if it made any psychological sense for a psychology paper.

Anyway, that's over. I'm just thankful my brain didn't freeze. I just wrote and wrote until the very last minute, until my fingers trembled scarily - you know, from writing so much rubbish.

I know everybody else too, was stumped when they saw the question paper. Everybody just stood there wide-eyed, and upon realising that they have no clue as to how to answer them, they just looked around at everybody else.

One even left within the first half hour. Which is suicide. It's the only subject with the highest number of failures amongst all other academic subjects in the uni. I saw the statistics and I prayed hard that I don't ever fall under that category. Ever.

One more paper now. I just hope I can still study right. I really suck at studying books. To me, experimentation and practical is studying. Not books. Reading alone just doesn't do it.

When you read, you attempt to memorize. Whether you realise it or not. You may tell yourself a million times to understand it but come the last hour, all you will do is to just memorize the facts. Which really doesn't help your panic little brain. Our brain, like the CPU, can only take in so much information.

That's why geniuses don't do last minute reading. They read everytime and do countless research. I wish I had those privileges.

It's during this kind of phases when I wished I had been a full-time student instead. This semester is truly one of the worst I've had to go through. The stress is all around. Work, school, people, society, self...

I just don't show it, that's all.

Two and a half more years to go...