As I've mentioned earlier, this semester (and the next one too), I'm doing Childhood Psychology. A subject close to my heart, be it due to my past childhood experiences or for the love of kids.

This is the book I'm studying and will probably remember and hold so dearly with me for a long time because of the impact it has brought upon me...

Source: Wiley, The Open University

It has become more than just a textbook for me, but a storybook - a journal - full of heartbreaking stories to be discovered, that rises awareness in me. It's like Pandora's box.

The initial intention was to study the book for my exams but the more I read, the more I am affected by its shocking content. Some stories I read, especially by the children, are sad and disturbing. Some even triggered a tear duct and caused my throat to choke.

No, I'm not dramatizing it. It is really what I'm experiencing right now while studying the book. It has opened my eyes to how some children live in such adverse conditions that it's scary to know. Some are made to do the most unimaginable things you could never think of.

It opened my eyes to realise that they are many who are unfortunate and needed help, but sad to say, help is out of their reach.

Source: Stanford

Especially when I touched on the topic of violence. It made me choke many many times. Maybe it's because of my affinity with children and how I feel towards them. Because they have a soft spot in my heart. Or maybe because in some cases, I could relate to their stories.

Either ways, it breaks my heart to know how much they suffer. It's unfair.

One of the tragic stories I read was about the Cambodian children in armed conflict of the Khmer Rouge era... The above picture shows young children being indoctrinated and forced to combat and kill adults.

Out of the few children who were killed during the Khmer Rouge years.

My soft-heartedness felt towards the children is exactly the reason why I wouldn't want to pursue this area of psychology. I know myself too well to put myself in a situation where I will get emotionally affected and involved.

If I have to do a longitudinal research on children, I will probably cry my heart out while carrying out the study.

Nevertheless, it is in my deepest interest to help them in any way I can when I have the chance tho' I don't quite show it. It has always been one of my goals. That's why sometimes I wish I was as rich and as influential as Opera. At least, I know I have the means to help them.

Hopefully, if God permits, when there's rezeki, I will be able to do so.

. .